One of the forms of respect I prioritize giving is Acknowledgement, that is praise, gratitude, and validation. The more specific and detailed we are, the more clearly we can communicate our appreciation. People are more likely to believe that the message is intended for them, not just for anyone, and therefore, it’s meaningful.
For my annual Valentine card this year, I decided to list out acts of friendship I experienced to remind the card recipients of how they supported me and what I particularly appreciated.
Here's my list:
Texted me to check in
Talked on the phone with me
Came to visit me in the suburbs, since I don’t have a car and can’t easily visit you
Invited me over to your home
Let me invite myself over to your home
Shared yourself with me
Asked me questions
Listened to me
Gave me advice
Asked me for advice
Expanded my understanding on a topic by sharing a different interpretation/perspective
Sent me an article or podcast you thought I’d like
Shared my work with your network
Encouraged me to try something new
Introduced me to someone you thought I should meet
Gave me a ride when I needed one
Supported a message I posted on social media
Attended one of my book events
Invited your friend along to my book event
Said yes to my request when you could
Said no to my request when you couldn't
Sent me a card
Advocated for me even when I wasn’t in the room
Told me when I had something on my face or in my teeth
Gave me feedback on a work-in-progress
I also recount specific memories, like:
Invited me over for dinner and cooked (name the dish)
Took a photo of my book when you got it and then posted it on social media
Gifted me (name the item) that I would not have bought on my own and yet now I use all the time
Took walks with me in (name the location)
Encouraged me to write about (name the topic)
Finally, I let them know how they inspired me, like:
Be a good manager and leader
Spend time with your family
Make time for self-care
Have the courage to speak out when things aren’t right
Sometimes saying “you're amazing” is insufficient. Some people think getting generic praise is actually insincere or superficial. I found people believe your praise more if you’re explicit about what they did that was “amazing.”
I hope these lists will inspire you to create your own list. The very act of writing out these lists also helps me articulate for myself what matters to me enough that I remember them.
After you think through what matters to you, take some time to acknowledge those people in your life.
This is so sweet. I am always amazed by your attention to details. Thank you for the thought provoking ideas!
Thanks for this thoughtful post. Gratitude, cousin to acknowledgement, is like a vitamin for the soul.
I believe Valentine's day was created during the Victorian era and was about friendship, not romantic relationships. Either way, more reminders to be kind is a good thing.